It’s now a year since my neck surgery in Barcelona. One year ago I was in my bed asking my mother to pray out loud for me because I was to weak to pray myself. Asking God to take care of me and give my strange to survive.

I still pray to God, in good and bad days. It doesn’t always seams to be working for me, but in a life with this much pain there is not some much else to do. Some day, maybe God will hear my prayers and life will give me a break.

«The worst pain is the feeling of being in pain. This pain is like terror, it scares you from living your «normal» life. Maybe time will heal that.» 

It is still painful and today I’m sharing both good and bad information so I might be helpful to someone. I’m writing in English because I got allot of massages from people all over the world asking me questions. I hope this will give you some answers! Feel free to ask me questions in the comment felt. Please remember that I’m not a doctor, so for all your medical questions please write Dr.Gilete. Link to his page: 


10 things to think about before neck surgery. 

  1. It takes more then a year before it gets better. The best is to think about a two year rehab time. The pain from you neck (as you know it) will go away, but new pain will come. Pain from the surgery, from the screws in the neck and from the ribs that are taken out. It all still hurt every day.
  2. Make sure that you don’t have a job to go back to. Wait a year ore more and just focus on you and training. Even voluntary work will slow you from your goal. Be careful so you dont let everyone else be more important then you.
  3. If you have children you need someone at least 4 months to help you with everything. You can’t make dinner, wash clothes and so on. Also, if your a single parent it will be really hard for more then 6 months. It took me weeks before I manage to get dressed by myself and 3 months to make my own dinner. To manage to have a argument with a teenager is not something you want to do!
  4. Exercise after the surgery is not easy. I started swimming after 5 month. After 8 months I tried some classes with the older generation and even that was to hard. After one year the best thing is just swimming and walking. See my swimming video in the bottom of this post.
  5. Stress is really bad. All kind. Work stress ore home stress. You really can’t take it.    To be mad ore have a discussion is taking allot of energy. Save your power.
  6. The breastholder is a bitch. It took me 8 months before I could have a «normal» breastholder on me and now it still hurts some days. After one year I still have some problems, this because of the ribbon.
  7. I lost the feeling in the back of my head after surgery. It was about 5 days after the sugery and I start feeling a lot of pain, and within 12 hours the feeling was gone. To loose a feeling means it’s replaced with pain.  It’s still painful and do things in life that are normal, f.eks going to a movie, lie down in bed, wash and fix your hair and of-cause to put on a swimming cap.
  8. The operation is hard. Its not something you can do by yourself. You need people there that can help you all the time. The surgery is a living hell. You can never really prepare for that. The first 7 days are the worst. I call it «7 days i hell».
  9. The body is changing. Like you will never turn your head again, this will make you feel both sad and frustrated. Imagine going to a movie, church, drinking coffee, making out with your boy/girlfriend , driving a car and never turning your head.
  10. Eating gets hard. You can’t look down so much and can’t see you food. Also to drink water is hard because you can’t move your head, so you have to use the stomach muscles and movement more. A good tips is to get a box to hold the plate of food higher up 🙂


Some good parts: 

  1. I lost the constant pain thai felt like a screwdriver going into my head.
  2. I lost the heavy feeling with holding my head up. Now my head are always in place and the screws hold it all together so I dont have to.
  3. I don’t have the up/down periods like I did before. The new neck also make me go less crazy because I just can’t do EVERYTHING anymore. It’s like its protecting you from getting hurt. The new neck is forcing me to chill out! It’s good for me.
  4. It feels like it was the right thing to do. It’s hard to explain.
  5. Even with the new pain I still manage to go swimming every week… month after month. Before I never lasted more then 2-3 months before I had several bad months!
  6. I understand that if I dont work I have better days. So there needs to be some changes in the near future so I can take more care of myself. If I didn’t work this last 9 moths I think I could have better results today. So from now on I will make training my first priority.


I think that we, included myself want this surgery because we want to get well and live a normal life. I can tell you that normal will never come. I will always have a neck injury and pain. I will always be «that person». The surgery fixed the neck so it stays in one place, but it doesn’t take away the injury. Time doesn’t heal the neck injury, but maybe your soul. The worst pain is the feeling of being in pain. This pain is like terror, it scares you from living your «normal» life. Maybe time will heal that.


1 photo: From yesterday. 2 photo is the first photo of my neck after surgery. 3 photo is the screws and bones in my neck after surgery. 


Conclusion after one year: 
I still can’t not say if I’m happy for this operation. I think I need another year to see how the body adjust to my new neck. It may seem strange that it takes this long to recover, but it does!  I thought it only took 3 month to get well and I was so mistaken! Maybe it’s better that I didn’t know…. So all your questions the first year, the answer will probably be «wait and relax because a better day will come» 🙏



Now I’m saving money to go back to Barcelona for a check up with my doctor Dr.Gilete. I dont have any savings and really need your help.  Please donate to my account: 3060.36.09677 ore vipps: 97660908. Thank you ❤